(there have been inquires into our whereabouts over the last 2 months… i think this might explain it all)
daughter: so it seems you do have lung cancer…
little tobin: humm, i’m ok with that… the dementia shit is what’s going to get me, right?
daughter: most likely…
(that has been 2014 in a nutshell – hoping to find a bit of humor in all this soon)
little tobin: well, HELLOOOO red boots! fancy, fancy, fancy…
daughter: do they look whorey?
little tobin: slightly…
daughter: that works…
little tobin: did you get me a pair too?!
(silence)
(nurse walking us into the doctor’s office…)
nurse: can i take your weight?
lt &d: (in unison) well no thank you very much, we like it exactly where it is! HAHA!
daughter: you weirdo!
little tobin: you’re the weirdo!
lt &d! ahhhh HAHAHA!
little tobin: (to nurse, or hallway or anyone who will listen) actually you can take it all! HAHA! I have excess!
daughter: ditto! be gone with it…
nurse: (baffled, amused, annoyed… wishing she could go home but sort of smirking) ma’am can you step over here so i can weigh you, please?
little tobin: uh oh, she ma’amd me..
daughter: you’re in trouuublleeeee…
daughter: oh my god… slit my freakin’ wrist…
little tobin: gouge my eyes out! that lady was a goddamn downer! minus ONE minus ONE!
daughter: where the hell is bridget jones when you need her!?
little tobin: getting chubby again for the next movie hopefully…
daughter: that sounds a thousands times more fun than that disaster!
(4 thumbs down for the depression horror show called gravity… 4 thumbs up for getting fat & happy!)
(little tobin greets me merrily at the door… playing her harmonica – with all her heart…)
little tobin: hey!… why do you have underwear in your purse?!
daughter: actually they are yours…
little tobin: excussseee me?! well now this is even weirder than first suspected.
daughter: (trying to open the front door) heyyyyy! why the hell is the table in front of the door?
little tobin: i saw paranoia…
daughter: are you serious?! … you saw that over 2 months ago!
little tobin: that s**t sticks with you!
(warning: movie not safe for mothers prone to booby trapping)
little tobin: hey can you fix the TV for me?…
daughter: sure… but can you tell me why it’s frozen on the playboy channel!
little tobin: OH NEVERMIND! neverminddddddd!… it got stuck, oh stop, i wasn’t watching that, i was just flipping through, oh come on, stop giving me those eyes, it froze on it, i swear, i swear!
daughter: likely story lady…
little tobin: oh my god she was so sad!… but excellent but jeez she was a sad mess… but played it so well…
daughter: i am so depressed and sad for her…
little tobin: holy cow that poor lady was pathetic! but what a great performance…
daughter: my gosh i just love woody allen…
little tobin: oh screw him… those actors made that movie!
daughter: he wrote it and directed them…
little tobin: oh hush!
(4 sad little thumbs up for actors AND director!)
little tobin & daughter 