Category: fitness

gym story #13 – cover me!…

little tobin: (hopping off the treadmill at a speed i haven’t seen her move in years) COVER ME!
daughter: (still on the treadmill, little tobin crouching behind) what the hell are you doing?…
little tobin: i cannot talk to that guy! (sort of now kneeling in the walkway)
daughter: who!? you know the entire gym can see you!
little tobin: i do not know his name but i do know i do not want to talk to him – he’s an old coworker.
daughter: well i don’t see anyone… ok i’m getting off this and going to the elliptical.
little tobin: (eyes darting everywhere) wait… no! what the heck is the little pickle?
daughter: i said the ELLIPTICAL! oh god you should just call it a night and go home.
little tobin: ok get my stuff out of the locker room – i’m outta here in a flash – cover me!
daughter: NO.

we joined a gym…

little tobin & daughter: (entering the gym… banging into the locked turnstile – maybe a sign?) hi! we’d like to sign up!
gym guy: great! what kind of membership are you 2 looking for?
little tobin & daughter: (perplexed) huh? what kind?  a regular one obviously…
little tobin: what other kind could there be?
gym guy: do you guys do jiu jitsu?
little tobin: is he joking?
daughter: yeah let’s just stick with a basic membership please.
gym guy: ok all i need you to do is fill out these forms (handing us what seems like an endless stack…)
little tobin: ok i’m already getting deterred with paperwork!
daughter: oh come on, we can sit down & fill it out. UGH did you see question #2? how much do you weigh?
little tobin:  you obviously have to lie! i’m off by 40 lbs and i feel better already.. HAHA
daughter: and question #4 – are you dieting? i wrote ‘always’…
little tobin: i put down ‘trying’ – that’s a fair assessment, can’t get mad if someone is trying…
but what’s with question #11… how far can you walk? what’s it to them? it’s none of their business.
daughter: well we are at a gym, they want to know how fit we are.
little tobin: i think that’s obvious!
daughter: fair enough… let’s just hand it in…
gym guy: (looking over our forms with no judgement it seemed…) ok ladies looks like you’re all set,
are you working out with us tonight?
little tobin & daughter: oh god no, this was plenty for one day!