Tagged: film critics

review of blue jasmine…

little tobin: oh my god she was so sad!… but excellent but jeez she was a sad mess… but played it so well…
daughter: i am so depressed and sad for her…
little tobin: holy cow that poor lady was pathetic! but what a great performance…
daughter: my gosh i just love woody allen…
little tobin: oh screw him… those actors made that movie!
daughter: he wrote it and directed them…
little tobin: oh hush!

(4 sad little thumbs up for actors AND director!)

review of the great gatsby…

little tobin: did you like the movie?
daughter: i was asleep for almost the whole thing…
little tobin: so, that’s a no?
daughter: that was horrible – snoozefest galore, did you like it?
little tobin: well the actors weren’t so good, the movie wasn’t great, visually i thought it would be more over the top.
But yeah i really like it.
daughter: not exactly a rave review.
1 thumb up… for what, i have no clue.

review of mud…

little tobin: (devilish grin)  soooo do you think matthew mcconaughey will be covered in mud?
daughter: MA! it’s not that kind of movie…
little tobin: TURN this car around!
little tobin & daughter: HAHAHA!

(begrudgingly proceed to see the film)

little tobin: amazing! he deserves all the awards…
daughter: that was fantastic… i want to live on a river boat and sell fish for a living…
little tobin: you would starve…
daughter: true. (another dream squashed)

(4 thumbs up! – would have been 5 if he had at least put on a mud mask…)

review of oblivion…

little tobin: hey that movie was pretty good but where was the robot?
daughter: i know… i love tom cruise but wall-e was a much better star.
little tobin: yeah tom can’t compete with that cute little guy!

(3 thumbs up but come on tom – do you really need to steal from a robot?)

 

review of quartet…

(little tobin, daughter & friend… saturday matinée of Quartet at the Beacon Cinema)

little tobin: i want to live in a musicians retirement home!
friend: me too, wouldn’t that just be great…
daughter: you guys know neither of you play an instrument, right?
little tobin: i play the harmonica!
daughter: oh please, no you don’t… you bought a ‘harmonic for dummies’ cassette tape and never used it!
little tobin: i was in a jug band!
daughter: that is a total lie! you took one seminar.
little tobin: well i can sing…
friend: she’s right, she can, really she can!
daughter: i give up…

(6 thumbs up… maggie smith is a must see and i believe will be getting 2 new roomies soon!)

review of les miserables…

(spoiler ALERT! you are warned, we don’t keep secrets… well just from each other…)
little tobin:
amazing! amazing! amazing! weak link – russell crowe.
daughter: i was SO happy when he threw himself of that freakin’ bridge! and he has a band – and i think they are popular!
little tobin: obviously he doesn’t make his living from that… and someone must have lied to him somewhere alone the road of stardom.
daughter: yeah big time liars! but hugh jackman, YUM YUM! even when he had those creepy red eyes and was emaciated he was adorable!
little tobin: he could carry me through a nasty sewer anytime!
(4 thumbs up! – even though russell crowe was cringe worthy – others shouldn’t suffer in the rating because he’s delusional)

review of silver linings playbook…

little tobin: amazing!…
daughter: they actually made mental illness look good…
little tobin: well that was all bradley cooper! he is gorgeous!
daughter: he looks like a bird, no thanks. robert deniro is way more attractive.
little tobin: you are so not normal.

(4 thumbs up)