Category: home

a snapshot of the past 48hrs…

daughter: hey mom, this is mr. d*, he’s here to help..you guys can chat about tattoos, he’s got a few…
little tobin: well then he’s a big pervert!
daughter: huh? but you have a tattoo…
little tobin: hey! who we talkin’ about, me or him?
daughter: well technically you…

ambulance lady: ok we’re going to head out now, if you have any concerns or want to chat, just give me a shout…
little tobin: well, you don’t have to worry about that. I’m pretty positive I already hate you…
daughter: annnddd we’re off!…

little tobin: hey, you think that guy is available?
daughter: god i hope not…

*(mr. d’s identity has been withheld to protect his privacy, because obviously i’m very concerned with personal privacy…)

 

 

unusual landscaping…

daughter: ok, i’ll mow your lawn if you tell me why there’s a bacon sandwich in your backyard?
little tobin: it’s for my friends…
daughter: what the hell kind of friends you trying to attract?
little tobin: cute little birdies… what’s it to ya?
daughter: i don’t want to mow the lawn and have bacon flying in my face…
little tobin: but everyone loves bacon…
daughter: not as lawn decor!

 

scented spring cleaning…

daughter: ok let the clean up begin!…
little tobin: alright i’ve got my gloves and lysol…
daughter: i thought we were just raking leaves?
little tobin: yeah exactly…
daughter: oh yick they are all wet and stinky!
little tobin: wait, wait! (scurrying back into the house, reappearing with a jar – sprinkles contents of jar on leaves)
daughter: what the heck are you doing? are those someones ashes??!?
little tobin: noooo, jeezz.
daughter: what is it then?
little tobin: (sprinkling furiously) it’s a scent! so there ya go, now they smell nice!
daughter: you have to be kidding me… now it’s a wet soggy smelly moldy pile of leaves that are perfume scented, this makes it so much better. thanks…
little tobin: (smiling like a school girl) you are welcome.

house next door…

daughter: hey they finally finished the house next door and put it up for sale.
little tobin: yup and it’s SO cute!
daughter: i should buy it!
little tobin: what? then we would both move in there?
daughter: NOOOOO you would stay here and i would move in there, by myself, on my own, like a grown up!
little tobin: ok, got it, jeezzzzzz. but i’ll have a key, right?