Category: doctor

weight…

(nurse walking us into the doctor’s office…)
nurse: can i take your weight?
lt &d: (in unison) well no thank you very much, we like it exactly where it is! HAHA!
daughter: you weirdo!
little tobin: you’re the weirdo!
lt &d! ahhhh HAHAHA!
little tobin: (to nurse, or hallway or anyone who will listen) actually you can take it all! HAHA! I have excess!
daughter: ditto! be gone with it…
nurse: (baffled, amused, annoyed… wishing she could go home but sort of smirking) ma’am can you step over here so i can weigh you, please?
little tobin: uh oh, she ma’amd me..
daughter: you’re in trouuublleeeee…

two hotties!…

little tobin: (sitting impatiently in waiting room) ugh i’m so sick of these nighttime MRI’s…
daughter: ditto…
(medical assistant comes out to gather us up)
little tobin: (eyes bugging out of her head, she drops in step behind him, mouthing at me & pointing at him aggressively) HOT HOT HOTTT…. holy HOTTIEEEEEE!
daughter: (trying not to burst out laughing at the unassuming attendant) stopppppp it! stop pointing!!
(he leads us into the oh so unfabulous waiting room)
little tobin: well hellooooooo…
daughter: (pretty sure she winked) oh my god!
medical assistant: (bewildered, like most) I just have a few questions for you…
little tobin: oh sure, fire away, i’ll answer anything…
daughter: (eye roll beyond all eye rolls)
medical assistant: (list completed) ok, we’ll be out in a few minutes for you…
little tobin: great! i’ll be here! ready, set to go! (big toothy grin)
daughter: you are killing me…
(he’s back to collect her)
little tobin: (she hops up out of the chair faster than i’ve seen in years) see ya!
(20 minutes later she exits – smiling from ear to ear)
daughter: what the heck you so happy about now?
little tobin: there was a second one in the room! hotter than the first! TWO hotties! i asked if i could take my top off…
daughter: but you didn’t have to take anything off…
little tobin: oh i know that…

5 hour appointment?…

daughter: how was your doctor’s appointment?
little tobin: oh it was fine… but gosh it took about 5 hours…
daughter: you were at the doctors for 5 hours?
little tobin: not really at the doctors, just at the hospital…
daughter: huh? what are you talking about…
little tobin: well for a few hours we were following some cute guys around…
daughter: are you freakin’ serious? you were stalking some guys at the hospital?!
little tobin: who the heck said stalking?! that’s crazy… we just followed him wherever he went…