it’s glue!…

(returning home from my studio)
little tobin: what the heck is in your hair?
daughter: it’s glue.
little tobin: it better be glue!… you know i saw that movie years ago.
daughter: oh my jesus … it’s freakin’ glue.

what’s a slop vac?

(nice unassuming man is re-tiling our shower – as we hover)
nice man: do you guys have a shop vac?
daughter: what the heck is a slop vac?
little tobin: is it for all the slop we have around this house?
daughter: yeah we really need to clean this weekend.
little tobin: we could use this handy-dandy slop vac! i really would like one of those vacuums that’s a robot.
daughter: oh yeah, maybe in a cute red color. do they talk to you?
little tobin: ohhhh i wonder.
daughter: like on the jetsons, they must have those by now!
little tobin: let’s look online!
nice man: hey! it’s called a SHOP vac – and i’m guessing you guys don’t have one.
daughter & little tobin: oh yeah we don’t have that.

fashion show responsibilties?…


daughter: hey so during the fashion show can you wear your shirt, mingle in the crowd and pass out cards?
little tobin: my card? retired social worker at your service!
daughter: yes your card, OH MY GOD – NO! MY cards!
little tobin: i’m KIDDING! get a grip.. jeezz can’t even joke.
daughter: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

taste!…

little tobin: (driving past) wow that arizona pizza parking lot is so packed.
daughter: yeah all people with no taste.
little tobin: well that’s ridiculous – how could they eat the pizza if they have no teeth?

review of the words…

little tobin: blah blah blah blah.. i need a freakin beer!
daugher: you don’t even drink!
little tobin: EXACTLY!
(thank god it was $5 movie night)

(conversation happening during the film)
old man sitting next to us: why the heck doesn’t the wife just get a job?
wife of old man: yeah what’s that about?
woman answers from across the theater: she must think she’s too pretty to work.

we join a drum circle…


daughter: what are you doing?
little tobin: my god, i have no idea – just hittin’ the drum.
daughter: in rhythm?
little tobin: doubt it. do you have snacks?
daughter: NO, we are drumming. you have to use your hands for that.
little tobin: i could figure out the snacks too!

(drumming teacher... ladiesssss how you doing? – oh damn we already got in trouble)

review of martha marcy may marlene…

(on netflix)
little tobin: is that the end – are you kidding me!?
daughter: ugh yeah i think so. i feel claustrophobic.
little tobin: who the hell liked that movie?  was that your pick?
daughter: it was recommended by a lot of people.
little tobin: yeah people who think they are supposed to like this movie. i’m picking the NEXT!

dinner party staff…


little tobin: hey, i planned a dinner party with my friends for friday night.
daughter: ok, i’ll make other plans that night.
little tobin: no need – you’re the chef.

review of we need to talk about kevin…

daughter: oh my god that was so depressing.
little tobin: i am beyond depressed.
daughter: god i hate kevin.
little tobin: that was just awful, who wants to watch that.
daughter: the acting was good.
little tobin: yeah that’s why i’m so depressed.
daughter: that sucked the life out of me. let’s eat ice cream.
little tobin: we will need gallons and hours of will and grace to get over that.