daughter: ok, i’ll mow your lawn if you tell me why there’s a bacon sandwich in your backyard?
little tobin: it’s for my friends…
daughter: what the hell kind of friends you trying to attract?
little tobin: cute little birdies… what’s it to ya?
daughter: i don’t want to mow the lawn and have bacon flying in my face…
little tobin: but everyone loves bacon…
daughter: not as lawn decor!
little tobin: that top is SO cute! where’d ya get it?
daughter: forever 21…
little tobin: (somewhat spitting out her ginger ale from laughter) my god you are delusional!
little tobin: (devilish grin) soooo do you think matthew mcconaughey will be covered in mud?
daughter: MA! it’s not that kind of movie…
little tobin: TURN this car around!
little tobin & daughter: HAHAHA!
(begrudgingly proceed to see the film)
little tobin: amazing! he deserves all the awards…
daughter: that was fantastic… i want to live on a river boat and sell fish for a living…
little tobin: you would starve…
daughter: true. (another dream squashed)
(4 thumbs up! – would have been 5 if he had at least put on a mud mask…)
daughter: ok let the clean up begin!…
little tobin: alright i’ve got my gloves and lysol…
daughter: i thought we were just raking leaves?
little tobin: yeah exactly…
daughter: oh yick they are all wet and stinky!
little tobin: wait, wait! (scurrying back into the house, reappearing with a jar – sprinkles contents of jar on leaves)
daughter: what the heck are you doing? are those someones ashes??!?
little tobin: noooo, jeezz.
daughter: what is it then?
little tobin: (sprinkling furiously) it’s a scent! so there ya go, now they smell nice!
daughter: you have to be kidding me… now it’s a wet soggy smelly moldy pile of leaves that are perfume scented, this makes it so much better. thanks…
little tobin: (smiling like a school girl) you are welcome.
little tobin: hey that movie was pretty good but where was the robot?
daughter: i know… i love tom cruise but wall-e was a much better star.
little tobin: yeah tom can’t compete with that cute little guy!
(3 thumbs up but come on tom – do you really need to steal from a robot?)
little tobin: hey how does this look? (completely serious look on her face)
daughter: you have no pants on…
little tobin: so, what does that matter? just come on, how does it look? (doing a half spin sort of move, still with no pants)
daughter: stop! can’t judge without the full outfit, put some freakin’ pants on.
little tobin: maybe this IS the full outfit.
daughter: oh god!
little tobin: how do my eyebrows look?
daughter: (long perplexed pause)
little tobin: i enhanced them with liner…
daughter: oh right. yes, i would have never known.
little tobin: jerk.
little tobin: (laughing uncontrollably) WOOOOOO! my gosh? i didn’t expect that! what did you do? HAHA that is just too funny? wait, sorry…but you look funny! did you ask for that? was that on purpose? what the heck? i don’t know about that! really, what happened??
daughter: (still standing in the doorway…) i got a haircut.
daughter: how was your doctor’s appointment?
little tobin: oh it was fine… but gosh it took about 5 hours…
daughter: you were at the doctors for 5 hours?
little tobin: not really at the doctors, just at the hospital…
daughter: huh? what are you talking about…
little tobin: well for a few hours we were following some cute guys around…
daughter: are you freakin’ serious? you were stalking some guys at the hospital?!
little tobin: who the heck said stalking?! that’s crazy… we just followed him wherever he went…
daughter: what time are you coming home tonight?
little tobin: i don’t know… what’s it to ya?
daughter: jeeezz just curious!
little tobin: if i’m having fun, who knows… you’re not the boss of me!
daughter: oh how the tables have turned…
little tobin & daughter 