Tagged: allergies

wow! you look awful…

little tobin: why do you have a black eye?!
daughter: what the heck are you talking about!?  i do not have a black eye!
little tobin: oh yes, you sure do… it’s purple and black and dark and all under your eye.
i think you might actually  have 2  but your right one is way worse. i’ll be right back…
daughter: for the millionth time it’s just dark circles that i’ve had my whole life!  if you go get a mirror i’ll harm you!
little tobin: oh hush! i’ll just grab it, you have to see – i am SO right…
(scurrying to obviously get a mirror to prove her point that i must have been punched in both my eyes and not have been aware of it!)
little tobin:  look! they look awful…
daughter: yup and once again, they are dark circles! but thanks for bringing up a repressed memory of you spackling me with concealer as a kid!…
little tobin: oh please – i never did that…well never against your will…

strippers & coke…

little tobin: hey you should date so and so.
(name withheld, as we all know little tobin is a stickler for privacy)
daughter: no thanks, he likes strippers and coke heads.
(dead silence)
daughter: and obviously i’m neither of those!
little tobin: that’s good to know.
daughter: was there a doubt!?
little tobin: well you do sniff a lot…
daughter: oh my god for the last time, i have ALLERGIES!